love x

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my boy noah

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my girl iona

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my boy Ruairi

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my boy noah

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girls gone gallivanting

 too many years and too many hardships therein had left me but a small shadow of a former self. I was the shell of half a girl, in both literal and metaphorical terms. 

Slowly slowly I started to crawl back. One slow and scary step at a time.

The painfulness of that time is too much to tell in a single sitting, so let us skip over it and instead proceed to the present day moment. I'm here and it's now, so let's get on with it.

Today for the first time, around about half past ten (hallelujah it began raining men lol) Marie found me at the (wrong) bus stop and we began what was my first adventure after eight months on the island. It was, also, my first adventure with someone by my side in an even longer time, so it was strange yet somehow really nice at the same time. Did it leave me feeling exhilarated and exhausted in equal measure? Yes. Would I change that for the world? Most certainly not.

Trying to look back on the series of events, my recollection is a little hazy as I quite comfortably assumed the position of backseat passenger. She goes on a trip almost every weekend (be it solo or with Sylvia as a sidekick) and, well I'm a novice in comparison and was quite happy to simply follow her lead. None of the responsibility, all of the rewards. 

There were buses and walking and then actually living. Walking talking sitting looking feeling hearing smelling tasting seeing and sensing everything that what was once normal for me. Anyway, these are the photos I have of the day, let's just stick them in and let them tell my story for me. I need to go to sleep soon.

she came to meet me at the bus stop

we left the city behind

she explained how her brain translates images of maps into physical spaces

we stopped at a beach 

and sat and talked. 

I was happy there.

we walked some more and she was happier there

going back the way we came but with a diversion of sorts, we walked some more back to the road and the bus before going back to the city.

time slipping

beautiful but brief

Not so long ago I took the train to Edinburgh for a few days. My name had been put forward to invite as an alumni to attend the Inches Carr Awards dinner ceremony held at Edinburgh College of Art. The invitation came at a time when I was feeling disconnected from both other creative people and my own creativity, so it seems like the right thing coming at the right time. It was lovely to be back in a place that feels like home, where the streets hold stories, where every turn brings back a different memory. And it was equally lovely to be back among fellow makers, designers and artists, having the feeling of fitting in and somehow feeling like I belong.

The next two days were ever so special; seeing Jenny, being at her side, doing lots of lovely things and doing nothing in particular together again.

Back in North Yorkshire I was more motivated for going out doing, looking and drawing.